Ava Knight

Jesus fuck. I watched the movie Twilight tonight. It was so completely, inexcusably, and undeniably terrible that I just can’t articulate how much it sucked. Oh wait, yes I can: Twilight, as a series, is extremely angsty and outrageous vampire smut. The codependency of the two main characters is disturbing, and the stalking is scary. With that acknowledged, the movie managed to be all that, plus be poorly written and directed.

In comparison to the book, the characters had too much emotion where there should have been none, and not enough when there should have been more. But there is no comparison, because this is simply a companion to the books. You cannot watch this movie and hope to take away a self-standing and logical plot. Instead, they hit major plot quotes while dropping all the parts in between explaining how the characters got there, leaving confusing mood swings or, worse, accusations of mood swings where there were none (because they left out all that inconvenient passage of time). This will satisfy fans looking to jerk off to all their ~favorite book moments~ but there is absolutely no reason to have an entire scene dedicated to vampire baseball. Yeah, I said it: VAMPIRE. BASEBALL.

And that will be the last you will everrrr hear from me about Twilight.